Do you even protein, bro?

“You must eat your body weight in grams of protein every day.”

“South Asian diet is carbohydrate heavy. We neglect protein.”

“People of our parents’ generation, especially women, neglected protein their entire lives and now they have injuries because of it.”

This has been the spiel for a little while now. People are discussing it in the office. There is social media content being made on it. Even my mom is talking about it.

Aside: I don’t get why we keep calling it ‘protein’ when there are like a billion different types of protein. If vitamins could get their own brand names, why not proteins? Imagine going to the doctor and they say to you, “Take vitamin everyday”, you’d be like, “Which one! There are so many!” But if the doctor asks you to “increase protein intake”, you don’t question it. You just go buy a crate of eggs and get smashing. Next time, ask the doctor to specify, okay?

Protein is pretty amazing. Especially for someone who hasn’t traditionally had a protein-rich diet. We joined swimming classes this summer and were working out 5-6 days a week. So we figured it is probably a good time to indulge the ✨protein powder✨ industry. Through considerable research and market review, we arrived at The Whole Truth’s protein supplements because they had the best branding. Everybody else is selling their protein powder in swole boxes with a picture of an even more swole man flexing his cloud-like arms while donning a g-string underwear. Not the image I have on my vision board to be honest with you. Neither does Poonam, thankfully.

Clever marketeers that these Whole Truth people are, they have come out with two categories of protein supplements: one for noobs and one for pros. The noob powder has 15g of protein (per scoop) and is ideal for those of us who are afraid of consuming too much protein because ande khaane se shareer mein garmi hoti hai. Look at this noob-friendly branding –

Plus, they have used “cleaner” ingredients so it is pretty easy to digest and gives no bloating. They even released it in this yummy cocoa flavour which tastes just like Bournvita. Stupid millennials like me are attracted to it like moths to flame. It’s so tasty.¹

So here we are chugging protein shakes a couple of times a week. We are eating a lot more chicken, eggs, and fish. There is dal pretty much every day. There is also soya nuggets subzi. We didn’t become swole over the summer but we do feel stronger. Plus, since we work out in the evenings, we were able to stave off dinner-hunger during the devil’s hours (7pm to 9pm). Without the protein shake, we’d get back from the gym and then watch ourselves go from hungry to hangry as we bathed, cleaned up, and then cooked dinner. With the protein shake, the devil doesn’t haunt us. And our desire for excessive carbs in dinner goes down. I was gorging on pasta/rice during dinner before. Believe me, I was eating a good 500g of pasta in a single meal by myself. But with increased protein in our diet, the carb size of the plate has significantly come down. We don’t feel bloated anymore (or at least as often).

Overall, protein = good. I recommend. Eat more protein. Decrease carbs. But also eat your veggies and fruits. Macros are important but micros are important-er because they are easier to forget.

Of course, protein does not accomplish this in isolation. Over the last year we have tried to reduce our mindless snacking and consumption of sugary drinks. Our fridge is stocked with barely-consumed chocolates that have been lying in there for months now. Plus, living together makes it easy to split portions which further reduces our junk intake. At this point, whenever we ‘calculate’ a meal, we automatically think of what the protein is going to be. This way the protein becomes the linchpin that the rest of the meal gets planned around.

But most importantly, what helped us reduce our carb-heavy portion sizes and increase our protein intake was – * drumroll * – eating in smaller plates! Try it. It’s amazing. It’s like my stomach shrunk a couple of sizes.

Anyway, “eating your body weight in grams of protein every day”? That seems excessive. I will go so far as to say it is impossible to eat your body weight in protein every day. Some days, sure, every damned day? Nuh-uh.

From my cursory online search, it seems that body weight in grams is the minimum recommended value. Some of these calculators recommend as high as twice as much! Wild.

How much protein do I need a day?

The Recommended Dietary Allowance (RDA) for protein is a modest 0.8 grams of protein per kilogram of body weight, or 0.36 grams per pound. The RDA is the amount of a nutrient you need to meet your basic nutritional requirements. In a sense, it’s the minimum amount you need to keep from getting sick — not the specific amount you are supposed to eat every day.
— Harvard Health

I need to be eating 60-70g of protein a day “to keep from getting sick”? And my mom too? And my grandparents? Bruh.

Join me on this exercise of imagining a typical family with two parents, one or more grandparents, and one or more children. That makes about 3-4 adults and 1-2 children. Assuming on average the adults need 60g of protein and the kids need 30g per day, you get 200 to 300g of protein per day. Let’s smash that in half. Whoever is taking care of the cooking in this household has to ensure that all the meals combined add up to 250g of protein.

Here, gentle reader, the author took a pause.

A few hours later, he had this –

Yes, I made a Protein Calculator. The absolute state of me, I tell you.

Turns out, it is entirely possible to eat your body weight in grams of protein every day.

It really isn’t that difficult even in a family setting. The biggest obstacle possibly is altering the traditional carb-heavy diet. The carb portions need to reduce and a few protein-rich food items need to be introduced. You throw in a protein bar or a protein shake in there, and you’d be golden. Anecdotally speaking, we feel that our pro-protein diet helped us maintain a base level of fitness even during times of reduced exercise. Like last month, when we were both sick because of the monsoon flu.

Back to the Protein Calculator.

Check it out, yeah? You can use it to check how much protein you have consumed in a meal (or a day). You could also use it to plan your meals. I think it’s pretty cool. Tell me how you like it.

Will you protein now, bro?

Share your thoughts. Email / text as always.

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