What do I want from my (work)life?

This post is best read in tandem with the next one: How seriously do you take your (work)life?

Lads, the summer vacation is in turmoil.

The unpredictability of work, both in terms of when and what, has been stressing me. The money is good, in fact, it has never been better, but that might actually be making me feel not good. The work situation was quite similar before, but my reaction to it wasn’t. Something about thinking about the future, increased living expenses in Delhi, and finding my footing in a new and fancy job has me rattled.

I made a list of things I want from my (work) life. Here it is:

• Less screen time.
• Less anxiety-inducing.
• Less running on somebody else’s clock.
• More to do with climate change, sustainable agriculture and replenishing water resources.
• More slow and focussed on one problem.
• More closer to actual change.

Important reminder from the wife: Do not try to gain all your life’s fulfilment from your job.

That’s something I have said to many people on many occasions. It was my golden rule last year. And somehow, in the rush that have been the last few months, I had forgotten about it.

My summer vacation-ness is directly proportional to my mental health. For ✨ fun ✨ last month, I updated an old web app (Deadline), coded a new Mac App (Scratch), and set up my own Twitter-style microblog (Stream). And this month, I have mostly argued, cried, and shit myself for personal and work reasons.

The problem lies within me and not so much with my life’s external forces.

I feel like I am trying to do too much. Just look at the number of “things” I have been doing or thinking about doing:

1. Reading more (started a bedtime reading routine, read some nice books lately)
2. Reducing screen time (deleted Instagram, reclaimed brain space, watching YouTube Shorts now)
3. Doing a good job at the hundred different things I have to do for work (god help me)
4. Figuring out how to start my own kitchen garden (too high a mental block to get started)
5. How do I get into sustainable agriculture? (can’t even grow a leaf at this point)
6. Is there a way I can help artificial groundwater recharge initiatives in Punjab? (read up on all the government and multilateral programmes on it and couldn’t figure out where to start)
7. There is no decent contemporary Punjabi children’s literature (started writing some)
8. Learn how to make Mac apps (made one)
9. Writing newsletters is hard, I should start a microblog (made one)
10. Oh what about that idea of making small web apps / productivity tools (made one to start)
11. That mega side-project that I have been working on for over a year with my brother (ready to ship but hanging in limbo cuz no time to focus)
12. I should restart running (that time of the year again; went on one run two weeks ago)

I am a highway restaurant with too many cuisines on my menu. I need to narrow it down to reduce my own overwhelm and to consequently improve my work’s quality.

Thoughts? Email/text as always.